In November I turned 30, and in so many ways, it felt like a rebirth. A lot changed, but it was for the better. I fell in love with a man who makes me feel like it’s absolutely splendid to be me. After five years of being an admissions counselor, due to reorganization, my position was eliminated; but then I was subsequently promoted to director of my department. I shed some people from my life who were toxic to my growth and development, applied to study abroad in Italy in 2013, and I made the decision to pursue being a solopreneur.

I finally felt that I was in a place where I was boldly taking steps toward the next phase of my life. But the question looming for me was, “what will that next phase be?” For many women my age, the natural steps are marriage and motherhood. And while I definitely have the desire to take those steps one day, I still struggle with accepting if the time for that is now. There are still so many other leaps I’d like to take before I take THE leap.

Is it wrong for me to want to pursue my personal and professional goals first before settling down to raise a family? I gave myself a resounding “no!” Women are often put in a position to feel that they are on a time schedule. But I think this restricts us in so many ways. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in 2012 is that it’s okay to admit when I’m not ready for something. In fact, it’s perfectly fine and beneficial for me to take time to continue developing myself into the woman that I know that I can be, so that I can add good things to the lives of others.

When I enter a marriage, I want to walk into it already fulfilled and content in the life that I have built for myself, and rest upon the knowledge that the man that I marry and the children we bring into the world will only add to my life.

So the gift I’ve given myself for Christmas this year, is the decision to turn off the proverbial biological clock. Will you join me?

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